Intimidated...

This has been a big year. One where I've learned more about myself, God's faithfulness, grace and my need to totally rely on Him. I have tried to be very open to the lessons in the middle of both my mistakes and my successes. Some days, it seems like my mind is in some type of hyper-self reflection mode to the point where I'm sick of myself, but a lot of good has come out of it. So, one such lesson that I've been learning is that God uses me when I allow Him to, and He doesn't expect perfection, nor do my failures exclude me from serving Him. I get too hung up in thinking I have to be "perfect" to serve or be used, but if that were the case, I guess God wouldn't have anyone to choose from. We're all in the same boat. Nevertheless, I'm intimidated when I put myself out there. This fall I decided to lead a core group in my Bible study. I knew that I'd be more comfortable working in the children's program, but I decided to stretch myself and see how I could be used outside of my comfort zone. I was feeling pretty good about it until today...
My list of people in my core group arrived today and I think God is proving to me just how much he thinks I need to grow. On the list are several women who I have known since childhood - as in my parents' friends. And rounding out the list is my Kindergarten teacher. Are you serious? I have to lead my Kindergarten teacher in a Bible Study. Talk about intimidating. I sure hope God knows what He's doing...
Go under the mercy.

Well, I haven't proven to be much of a blogger... I think because I figure I'm the only one who reads what I write (and I guess I don't even technically do that), it doesn't matter if I keep it up. However, there is something to be said about journaling or even recording one's thoughts for posterity. Without taking myself too seriously (blessed self-forgetfulness - is that even possible?), I like to see where I've come from, how my thought process has changed, articulate what is going on in my head... I also love reading other people's blogs. Perhaps I feel a bit less like a voyeur if I engage in my own blogging every once in a while!

With that said, here is my update. I Love Summer. I don't know if I could ever get enough. It reminds me that I love my kids and that they're some of the most incredible gifts I've been given. I always begin to wonder why I don't homeschool them - they're so much sweeter when they're away from school friends! But then I think of the incredible education they're getting at their school and I'm thankful for partnering with others and being part of a community that stretches us and challenges us. But as for summer, I love a slow paced morning, spontanity, summer camps, listening to the kids play together, late dinners, vacations, going to the beach, spending time at my parents house on Camano, riding bikes, no play dates (is that bad?). It's just Peace.

This week, A is at a horse camp on the most beautiful piece of property against the Issaquah River, right at the base of Mt. Si. I would move there in a heart beat if I could. She fed animals, rode bare back down the river, played with farm animals, inner tubed down the creek - all day long. I'm so completely happy for her! It's her dream come true and it makes me thrilled beyond anything to give her this opportunity.

E is spending the mornings at basketball camp with the most encouraging and enthusiastic coaches I could ask for. He wishes that it was "over night" camp (even though it's over after 2 hours) and he lead both of his sisters in camp songs while they took a bath tonight. So sweet.

Unfortunately, M bears the brunt of this week. We are spending almost 4 hours in the car every day, and she's along for the ride. Someday it will be her turn. Until then, we've got a lot of books on tape, cd's and coloring books.

So, there's a brief update of what we've been doing. We've got one more trip ahead - another go at Cannon Beach. Let's hope for no trips to the ER this time.



Go under the mercy.

Cannon Beach

In an effort to be spontaneous, which is something I rarely am (but aiming to be...), I booked a last minute weekend to one of my favorite places - Cannon Beach. Never mind that E was sick when I booked the trip. I figured he had been sick for 5 days already, and was sure to be fine by Friday night. Turned out that wasn't true, and the trip ended after an emergency room visit to try to stabilize his breathing after the first night. Poor guy. However, we did get to spend one full day on the beach and in town, and I was reminded of how much I love Cannon Beach.

I was overwhelmed with a sense of nostalgia when I took the older two kids to Bruce's Candy Kitchen. I described this to A and E as, "the place where I first fell in love with Jelly Bellys." I seriously would buy pound after pound of these jelly beans during the week we were at the beach. Strawberry Daquiri was my favorite, and truth be told, I think I felt a little bit "dangerous" to be purchasing something so closely linked to alcohol! How sad. But as soon as I smelled the candy store, it was a surreal experience. I felt exactly the same way I had when I was a kid. I've never had such an emotional response triggered by a smell. I think Cannon Beach is my happy place.

We spent the morning at the beach, and while it was pretty chilly, we had so much fun. There are few things more heart-warming than to see my kids enjoy the same experiences that meant so much to me growing up.






So, while 24 hours was less than what I'd hoped for, I am completely satisfied. Maybe it's possible to have too much of a good thing.

Go under the mercy.

Weekly Round-up

I guess I could also title this, "Things I love about my kids." I absolutely adore my kids and I love that they're in 3 completely different stages. It makes me appreciate where they are, where they've been, and where they're going.

A went away for her first over-nighter (2 nights in fact!) to an Outdoor school with her class. I was so proud to see how she handled herself because I know that when I was a 1st grader, I probably didn't have the confidence to be away from home - and actually enjoy myself! She came back feeling so grown up, and slightly sassy, which we're working on.. I'm thrilled that she's growing up so beautifully. I see so much of myself as a child in her, and my prayer is that she grows up balancing the perfect mixture of femininity and fearlessness. I get to spend the night with just her on Saturday night at my parents' beach house for a little much-needed rest and time reconnecting.

E is as entertaining and witty as ever, but I'm seeing a new side to him. He is getting excited about school and his new ability to solve problems and figure things out. We've been working our way through the mountains of Legos he received for his 5th birthday and I was so impressed when he was able to build a 4x4 all by himself, carefully pouring over the manual, step by step. There was a time, not too long ago, where he would have run out of patience after 2 or 3 minutes.

M is proving to be a great mix of both A and E's personalities, which means she's all over the place. My favorite moment with her this week occurred when we were in line at the grocery store. As a backstory, I made a new mix for my ipod for the gym. My music tends to be pretty depressing (as evidenced by the fact that E was walking around the house singing, "I woke up and wished that I was dead..." What do I expect when the group is called The Weepies?) So, I figured I needed something a little more high energy. The kids love listening to my music, so while we're paying for groceries, M was singing at the top of her lungs, with accompanying dance, "All the Single Ladies, All the Single Ladies!" (Beyonce - yes, I have a campy side). I joined right in - without the dance.

So there's my weekly roundup. I love my kids.

Go under the mercy.

Birthday Weekend

Over the past weekend, we celebrated my birthday, my dad's birthday and E's birthday. His celebration is actually still going, since when you turn 5, you get a lot of parties. Tonight marks the conclusion to the festivities. He gets to choose the restaurant tonight, and I must admit I was hoping for someplace that brings you a piece of cake and sings an obnoxious birthday song after dinner. I do not want to make another cake! Perhaps I'm putting too much pressure on myself to make something cute. Plain cakes are much simpler, but they're just not as fun! But, I think E is leaning towards Q'doba, so no song and dance there. We'll see how I spin the "no cake" birthday party tonight...

I've been thinking a lot about how I want this next year of my life to be. I guess it's not wholly mine to decide, but here are my goals:
1. To grow in grace as I grow in age
2. To love those around me more
3. To teach my children to be frank and fearless
4. To give more Compliments
5. To live with the "tension" of life in a poised state of equilibrium - I read that once, and I like the picture...

So. Quite a year ahead of me. Part of me would like to fast forward to see where I am at the end of the year, but I guess that would ruin the surprise.


Go under the mercy.

Oh, Heavenly Day...

Today was beautiful - it reminded me of what we have to look forward to this summer. Aside from the craziness of our schedule today (I had already been back and forth to the kids school 3 times by 9:30am), it was so easy to get everything done when there was so much sunshine everywhere. I could also use the warmth as an excuse to go get ice cream with my kids after school. They are really quite charming over ice cream sandwiches.
Although I am a poor imitation of a blogger, I'm discovering that the very idea of "having a blog" creates this inner narrator in my head, who pretends to journal all day. I am quite familiar with the idea of having conversations in my head. I only verbalize a very small percentage of what I'm actually thinking. Good or bad? Still deciding.
Hmmm... After re-reading this, I think my ideas may truly sound more cohesive when they stay in my brain. But - this is my experiment. I will try to journal for a while.
It's the end of a long day. To sleep, perchance to dream...

Oh, and Happy May Day. I think it's the most lovely holiday where all that's required is that you surprise someone with flowers (even better when you drop them on someone's door and run - I have such vivid memories of this as a kid). Remembering last year when we visited Grandma Ro with tulips... We miss you.

Go under the mercy.

Little Buddy

I got to spend the afternoon with Eli today, which is a rare treat. We're not often on our own. We had a hysterical trip to Archie McPhee in Ballard, trying on scary masks and choosing the craziest band-aids we could find. We finally settled on pickles and bacon - we decided that the next time anyone in the family has an injury, they would laugh at the ridiculousness of their band-aid.
For those of you who don't know Eli, he is the perfect combination of a breath of fresh air and utter exhaustion. Most of our conversations feel like a poor rendition of the old Abbott and Costello routine, "Who's on first?" We drove by my childhood house today and I could not get the idea across that 1) We didn't own it anymore (even if we did have it first), 2) Money was exchanged in the purchase (and no, I didn't get to be the one to keep it) and 3) The house wasn't purchased with candy (I don't even know how that one fit in)! So, as we circled and circled around the same crazy topics - along with one random one he threw into the middle of the house conversation: "Why are green enemies called green enemies?" (which I finally determined were "sea anemones"), I felt so grateful for a little time with just the two of us. At the risk of sounding cliche and overly nostalgic, he will only care about our "alone time" for a little while longer. He's the happiest kid I know - except when he's absolutely the maddest kid I know. But, his sweetness and fascination with nearly everything outweighs his low moments and I can't wait to see what he's like in one year from now, five years from now and 20 years from now.
I love you, Dude.

Go under the mercy.

Just Do It

So, I'm sitting here attempting to think of something worthy of my first official blog. I love reading what other people are doing or thinking about, but somehow, when I think of what I want to say - it all sounds so self indulgent. While I'm sure the majority of my entries will revolve around my kids, I also am aware that there is much more to me than being a mom. So, I hope I can successfully blend my many worlds into this one concise place. Hmmm.... Cringing at my overactive self-awareness.

I think I'll begin with my kids - they're my safety zone. I'll ease myself into this...



Top 5 things overheard in the Dreon house this week:

5) Mae: "Dear Jesus, Thank you for Disneyland" (Actually this is prayed every night)

4) Ava: "Mom, what do I do if there's this boy in my class who is, like, in love with me?"

3) Eli: (on the phone) "O.K., Dad. I'm ready for hockey. I have my knee pads, sweat pants and nut cup on. Have a nice day!"

2) Mae: (at a Seattle Children's Theater presentation of "Goodnight, Moon") "Mommy, I love this! It's just like the Backyardigans!"

1) Eli: (to Mae) I have to set up the back story on this one first. After running out of milk at dinner, Eli lifted his shirt and attempted to nurse from his own nipple (not the first time...) When he was unsuccessful, he told Mae "You're getting pretty big (she's a bit on the chubby side). I bet you can start feeding people pretty soon!"



Something new every day! I look forward to sharing this with you.



Go under the mercy.